Aquarium 13B safely sits in the balcony of our half house in
Sunnette Villas. I say “half house” because its not quite a full house, with
strangers just moving in the other duplex door. But its a comfortable haven for
Aquarium 13B.
Its tenant with the longest tenure, Goldie Ho, has seen a
couple of fireworks when the year turns into new one. He moved in with three
dabarkads in the summer of 2011, and has seen all three go up into “The Happy
Place” one by one – Geena just gave up after a long bout with depression,
George thought the other side of the glass wall was a better place so he jumped
out of their cool, spacious abode into nothingness and Gino, my love, was
driven by so much ambition, he could not handle the limited routine and he
burst right in front of Goldie’s googly eyes. He’s a chronic eater when he’s
tense, you know.
And so it goes, that for the next two years, Goldie will
swim through Aquarium 13B on her own, monopolizing the space and the food. “At
least, there’s more for me,” her bubbly thought bubble said – optimistic lass
that she is, she looked at the situation with the aquarium half filled rather
than empty.
Until the night of June 1st...
She knew The Owners arrived home. Lukaz was crazily barking
and bags upon bags of goodies for the week was being shuttled from the car into the Half House. “Im hoping
there’s fresh grub included in one of these bags as I’m tasting my regular fare
is nearing expiration,” Goldie thought.
When the commotion moved from downstairs to our floor,
Goldie swam frantically as The Owners are bound to pay her and Lukaz a visit
before they retire. Much to her surprise, the Little Owner made a beeline for
Aquarium 13B and plopped two new swimmers into her tank – both of them dark and
sinister, but smaller than Goldie. One was Boo, a black hammerhead sharkie (a
fitting breed term for someone as flat-headed as him) and the other one was
Othello, a sinister looking Black Moor Goldfish, whom Goldie did not trust
right away.
She kept her distance from the new roomies, just gliding near the
surface, while the newbies take over the bottom half of the tank. The Owners
gave more than enough food at still about the same time she takes her naps, but the two uncouth tenants
seem to gobble down their ration before Goldie wakes up and they end up sharing
even hers.
Pretty soon, Goldie was
trimmed down to her size before she moved in as the neighbours kept on eating
her share of the aquarium food. Exactly a week after they moved in, she has had
enough.
“Boo, Othello, are you boys
really this uncivilized? If you want more food, all you need to do is just ask
from the Little Owner and he will gladly give you more. That’s how things are
run in this side of town, she declared.
Rather than take it kindly, Boo
and Othello just snickered away without even acknowledging her attempted
friendly chat, making more snide remarks about Goldie’s fat size, lack of
exercise and sagging fins.
This irked Goldie a lot more
than usual. So she swam quickly after the two, knocking them off their path as
she did.
“Oooh, like you look so
great, Boo! You look like a horse rather than a fish!” was Goldie’s outburst.
Othello was snickering on her left, which earned her attention.
“And you, dear Othello, look
like a little donkey beside your horse friend!” And she scoffed away.
Boo and Othello did not like
it one bit. So the swam after Goldie and squeezed her between them, hitting her
with their tail fins as they circled the aquarium with a screaming, crying
Goldie in between them.
Goldie received scratches and
wounds from the beating of the two, and the aquarium water turned murky from
the blood she lost. That night, she did not eat. Too hurt from the beating and
from crying, she slept with the resolve to tell the Big Owner tomorrow.
But alas! The Owners decided
to start their weekend early and stayed out on Friday night.
As the food came and went
quickly, the bullying intensified, and by the time The Caretaker came to clean
up the blood-filled tank, Goldie was severely injured – her left eye was about
to pop out and her right side was bruised beyond imagination.
The good Caretaker decided to
put Boo in a separate tub because she saw him attack Goldie as she approached.
And as she was cleaning up the tank, she cried mid way, causing shivers down
Goldie’s spine.
Boo expired in the other tub.
And a blanket of sadness covered Aquarium 13B.
# # #
It was night time of Sunday
by the time The Owners came back from the weekend. The same commotion happened
below, but as the Little Owner stomped his way upstairs to check on them, the
usual excitement is not in the air. The Little Owner, warned by The Caretaker,
slowly opened the door that led to the patio and with moved to Aquarium 13B.
With a wail, he called for help from his Mom and The Big Owner. Goldie was
still profusely bleeding and the tank was still tainted with her blood. The Big Owner immediately set her apart from
Othello and cleaned up the tank again.
Before retiring for bed, the
Big Owner murmured soothing words to Goldie, telling her everything will be
alright in the morning.
Othello, on the other hand,
got jealous with the attention Goldie received. And as she was sleeping, he
resolved to “finish the job,” which he did.
# # #
When Kai came to me
that night, he was distressed and at a loss for words. He could not understand
how his “pets” could not live in harmony, thinking that they’re all living
under “one roof.”
“How can they hate
Goldie, Mommy?” he sobbed. “She’s too hurt, I don’t think I want to see her
until she’s well again.”
In my mind I was
thinking perhaps he could not bear to see something he cherished be in so much
pain.
I, on the other hand,
pounced at the opportunity to remember another precious one I have not visited
in quite a while.
Now that he
understands more, I explained to Kai how excruciatingly painful it was to visit
his brother in the hospital many moons ago.
It has just been two
weeks when I went home sans my newborn. I was torn between leaving one boy
behind – as I stayed in the hospital to be with Zak, I was depriving Kai of the
maternal attention he needed at age 4. If I went home to shower Kai with love,
I reduced the bonding time with bunso to two measly hours a day. Without a way of
knowing his reaction, I didn’t know if he was in pain or agreeable to my
leaving. Mommy was downright torn.
Three weeks of falling
into the routine of visiting Zak during the middle of the day, I father chanced
upon a day in the week that he went home – I picked him up from the port area,
and brought him straight to UERM. Tired from a week’s worth of travelling
Philippine seas, I sought approval for Lolo to see Zak up close. So as soon as
he was sanitized, I brought him inside NICU – some three incubators from the
door. Without even being two feet away, he wept suddenly. I had medics on
standby just in case his blood pressure shoots up.
In my lifetime, I
rarely saw my Dad cry – when my baby brother died, he wept at his wake; when mi
sister got married, he wept at her civil wedding; when his Nanay died, I heard
he wept at her funeral too. So when he cried at my son’s corner in the
hospital, I felt a hand invade my chest and tear off my hearty.
“Mabubuhay pa kaya si
Zak, Ging?” he asked in between sobs.
While optimism is not
my strong virtue, I stayed positive for Zak’s sake.
“Of course Papa! Kaya
nyan kahit maliit yan. Lalaban yan!”
Days after, I wasn’t so
certain.
He endured way too
many needle pricks for IV insertions. I see relieved veins left black and blue
only to be replaced by new ones elsewhere. Arms, legs, heels, wrists, it was all
musical chairs for me. The IV was never in the same place for a long time.
His weight dipped...to
dangerous levels at some point. He reached half a kilo at Christmas 2008. When
the pedia asked me to buy corn oil (or is it canola?) I was thrilled. It was
the same advise my sister’s pedia gave her for her daughter the year before.
And after that it was smooth sailing until we brought her home.
January came, and Zak
continued to deteriorate. I still could not hear his wails, his cries. His
progress was a roller coaster ride. And through it all, the Lord’s Prayer never
had any greater significance to me than that particular difficult time in our
life. I would half trust I had the Lord guiding the best doctors for Zak, and
half wish that the torture would end. Coming into the hospital, I’d be forlorn –
scared even to find Zak in a stage worse than when I left him the day before. Going
out, I’d fall into a bit of a calm resolve – that God is in control and He sees
all things and will do things that will still make me feel loved and favoured.
I groped with blind faith...but then, that was the only thing I could hold on
to.
It was painful to
watch Zak’s chest recede and his ribs peek through...oh so slowly. It was
painful not to be able to share his pain and know for sure that he was ailing.
Much like your fish,
Malakai. It might be painful to watch a gory fish slowly die. And its that pain
multiplied (yes, he knows multiplication now) a million times to watch someone
you love die little by little everyday.
But Mommy watched. And
Mommy died with him, only to come back for Kuya.
# # #
As the night deepened, the darkness around Goldie
intensified. She was being hit left and right and she did not have the power to
avoid whatever it was that was poking her, hitting her, slicing her. The water
was once again murky and reeks of blood – her blood. Soon, half of her body was
warm from the air above, and the other half was wet from the water she was
resting on. And then Goldie slept soundly.
# # #
The next day, it was Little Owner that brought the news that
Goldie had gone. With tears in his eyes, he asked Big Owner to come and get
Goldie. Big Owner did and he was about to flush Goldie down the toilet – a fate
her predecessors suffered as well – but Little Owner said he wanted to give
Goldie a proper place to stay and rest.
So they both dug a hole in the garden for Goldie to stay in forever.
# # #
And that’s how murder happened on Aquarium 13B.
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