At the end of this month, I would have been married for 3
years and 2 months. My son is turning three in 23 days. And my life is flashing
before my eyes at night because in less than 8 days, my perfectly normal life
of 3 decades as I know it could potentially change.
years and 2 months. My son is turning three in 23 days. And my life is flashing
before my eyes at night because in less than 8 days, my perfectly normal life
of 3 decades as I know it could potentially change.
This morning, I asked my husband on my way to work if he
knew me well enough to know what things made me happy. He gave me a long list
in three text messages, more than half of which I found really off tangent.
Perhaps we haven’t had enough time to get to know each other (not even after
more than 5 years of being friends before settling down). So I obviously took
it to heart and I’m lugging around this disappointment at work until I can find
a way to get it off.
knew me well enough to know what things made me happy. He gave me a long list
in three text messages, more than half of which I found really off tangent.
Perhaps we haven’t had enough time to get to know each other (not even after
more than 5 years of being friends before settling down). So I obviously took
it to heart and I’m lugging around this disappointment at work until I can find
a way to get it off.
SMS1: You like to play with Kai when you arrive at night. You like to have a house. You like to have a father for Kai. You like visiting your parents on weekends. You like going to the mall. You like being in control of the budget. You like your bestfriend because she’s someone you can talk to and share emotionally with. You like your sister because she’s your younger sister. You like your bags. You don’t like being told what to do. You like everything inside your bag.
SMS2: You like standing your ground until someone approaches you. You like texting. You like keeping in touch with your friends. You like showing everyone your family. You like your house to be in good condition. You like others to know what you like.
SMS3: You like to view your accomplishments and what is yours.
So I took a deep dive and found the following:
- I like watching movies. I would have watched everyday after work to unwind if there was a good movie on. But I like to watch just the same even if half the time I wont recall the plot nor the title and characters of that movie.
- I like going to the mall and to this day, I still long to fulfill my childhood dream of being left inside Glorietta long after the doors have been locked for the night; and I can freely shop and window shop to my hearts’ desires.
- I like the mountains more than the beach; I like the cool breeze more than the hot and humid air near the water. In fact if Baguio was just a stone’s throw away, I would have capped my hectic day with a leisurely stroll on Burnham, cheesy or not.
- I like eating out and I’ve mastered the science of doing so without spending too much. I’ve never been a high maintenance girlfriend – a cheeseburger meal is just as welcome a treat as a steak is.
- I like what I’ve become now and with it comes all achievements, possessions, accomplishments today. If I brag about it often it is not because I’d do so for the heck of bragging. I like looking around knowing I am surrounded by things I’ve come to own without having to ask for help in getting them. Blame it on upbringing but the brat in me considers this
vital.
vital.
- I like being in control without being obsessive compulsive; nature of my job – nothing should be left to chance. But there are days I’d savor handing over the reins of being a control freak to someone else so I can rest a while. So if I beg off from choosing the place where we’ll eat for
lunch, give that to me.
lunch, give that to me.
- I like to keep to myself. I like watching from the sidelines. Never really liked the spotlight.
- I like sweets and chips; won’t mind dipping my salty french fries into a chocolate sundae as my son now does.
- I like local delicacies: from dried mangoes to champorado, and guava jams to polvoron and piyaya.
- I love chocolates in all sizes, colors and forms.
- I like standing up for principles especially when I know I am in the right. Have fought some battles in the past with my Dad and I’m not sorry I did. Give me a traffic enforcer any day and I’d fight them tooth and nail if I know the only ones deserving that traffic ticket is them!
- I like simple moments of togetherness with people I love – my immediate family, my family of birth and very select, close friends.
- I want to spend moments with people who I know appreciates, likes, accepts and respects me for who I am and who I’ve become. I really don’t quite know why the me I’ve become now is so important to be appreciated. Perhaps it’s because the “me” now is no longer just me; but it’s includes my darling husband and son. The “me” now is a product of a mixture of great and
not-so-great upbringing, but it’s still great because I’ve come through. (maybe I’ll do a similar entry when Kai is much much older)
not-so-great upbringing, but it’s still great because I’ve come through. (maybe I’ll do a similar entry when Kai is much much older)
- I like talking intimate conversations – like Whisper commercials of old, I’d like to bare my heart and soul to someone who matters enough to share my last waking moments in the day.
- And in as much as I like talking, I also like listening to wonderful and not-so-wonderful things that happened to my loved ones. I’m beginning to do that now with Kai – his welcome-home kisses are often followed by snippets of what games he played and TV shows he watched during the day.
- I like being listened to in the same way I like to listen.
- I like texting. It is half my life. It was my connection to my visitors when I was getting married – my way to check if they’re doing great or getting bored. It gets me through my work, gives me access to carry out regional projects; provides that much needed link to my family. Lastly, it provides me with a convenient way for me to convey feelings (esp negative ones)
and issues without having to confront my audience (I get totally worked up with confrontations!)
and issues without having to confront my audience (I get totally worked up with confrontations!)
- I like keeping all my things close to me – it gives me a sense of security that everything is just in my bag or all my files are just within arms reach, or that I have my laptop in tow just in case I need to open it from wherever I am. Total access!
- I like the virtues of honesty and respect. They sit well with my concept of love.
- I like little gestures of caring – a light kiss on the face to wake me up everyday, an “I love you” over text in the middle of the day reminds me that I’ve been in the mind of someone, basta, any unexpected show of affection.
- I like collecting things from my past – an entry ticket to a play, a memorable discount card, magazines that I found relevant at a certain stage (am thinking I can go back to them later on). So pardon me for building up a well of memories in my closet. It is my life and it is what I live for.
- I like shopping. But I’m not a big spender. I buy items that are on sale and on discount. I see shopping in a different light now. A regular-priced blouse can stille three cans of Kai’s milk…
- I like writing. Always have, always will.
- I like reading. But reading nowadays is relegated to glossies.
- I like cooking on occasion, especially baking and doing pasta.
I’m not the type to do this everyday, though. I’d rather do garage work than dance in the kitchen.
I’m not the type to do this everyday, though. I’d rather do garage work than dance in the kitchen.
- I like bowling a lot. Its about the only sport and form of exercise I know apart from daydreaming, which doesn’t take a lot from me.
- I like watching people dance, but am not blessed with great feet to dance with.
- I like watching people sing. I envy the talent, but I’d rather stay on the sidelines. (there is a decent reason why Monique Wilson went to Saigon and I did not).- I like Starbucks. I love McDonald’s. I love Mango, Promod and Forever 21!
- I like most types of cuisine, but am not the experimenting type to try out new dishes.
- I like advertising. For some uncanny reason, I’ve loved and embraced it the day my ex-boyfriend introduced me to the name Ogilvy and Mather (Ogil what?!?)
- I absolutely adore my Dad. No one is a better person than who my Dad is in my life. I admire my Mom’s dedication but have hopes for her to have managed our family better. I have nothing but unconditional love for my sister. If no one will take her, I will – lock, stock and barrel, kids
included.
included.
- I like my bestfriend; am blessed to have found her. Quite pleased that we had that afternoon together where i poured out my heartaches to her oblivious to the receptionist and the secretary listening in. It paved the way to Jollibee breakfasts together, lunches together, Glorietta trips after work together, apartment-hunting together and I suppose, the rest is history. Call me selfish, but she’s one I’m not likely to share except for my son. I trust her enough to leave Kai to her in case both Max and I passes on.
- I adore my husband, whose just a bath shy of my Dad (literally). I love him as I promised him on our wedding day. With that love comes a deep respect for the person that he is now and the greater person he can become. (yes, in spite of the shortfalls and the fights).
- Most of all, I adore my son, Malakai Rei. He is my life and my ultimate joy. It pains me to think about things that can break us apart, but I have roughly two more decades to enjoy him.
So between now and the 26th, I’d like to have more of these little things that make me happy. And now its time to go home to my happiness.
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